Tag Archive success

Envy Is the Killer of Friendship

It is bad enough for one person to resent the achievements, qualities or circumstances of another. But when that feeling of resentment is harboured by an individual to whom one is supposed to be united by a friendly bond, then the situation is truly dreadful. Yet, it is easier to be envious of a friend, confidant or companion than of a stranger. For we are more directly in contact with, and more often made aware of, their successes and fortunes.

The Bantu life philosophy offers us a way of keeping envy at bay. If we were to view our friends –and all people for that matter- not in terms of opposition, but as individuals to whom we are united by our common humanity, it would much easier for us to rejoice at their achievements or luck. If they were more successful than us, we would be delighted that thanks to their success, they are in a better position to serve humanity. The same would be valid if they were healthier, or happier, or more intelligent than us.

So, let’s make an effort and decide to stop envy from killing our friendships. In order to succeed, we should regard all positive things that happen to our friends as potential benefits to all human beings, including ourselves.

By Sylvie Aboa-Bradwell

Founder and CEO, Medzan Training                            Contact Sylvie

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My Roadmap to Success by Sylvie Aboa-Bradwell

When I tell people that I am, at once, a leadership and self-development trainer, a writer publishing works in English, Spanish and French, a think tank founder and director, an educator and international speaker, as well as a mother of 2 teenage children (one of them with ADHD), some usually look at me with scepticism, others, admiration, and some others, envy.

Scepticism because, at first sight, it may seem that nobody can successfully do so many things at once. Admiration because some people may assume that I am a superwoman with an extraordinary ability to undertake many tasks at once. Envy because some individuals may think that I have just been lucky.

In truth, I deserve none of the above feelings. For there is a simple, very simple explanation for my “impossible feats”, or “extraordinary ability”, or “luck”, or whatever you want to call it.

At the risk of revealing that I am no longer a spring chicken, I will tell you that for well over 25 years now, I have been applying a very simple 6-step programme I created to achieve all my goals.

It enabled me to overcome my ADHD and graduate with top marks at a prestigious Cameroonian university, though I come from a family of poor Cameroonian villagers. It helped me surmount the linguistic barrier when I arrived in Spain in 1994, as an illegal migrant who could barely utter a few words in Spanish. It did so to the extent that by the time I left in 2002, I had several degrees and diplomas from the Complutense University of Madrid, including a Master of Philosophy, and many pieces of writing published in Spanish.

It helped me when I arrived (legally) in the UK in 2002. I could hardly speak English then. But within a few years, I had managed to work for several high profile organisations, create a think tank, publish several essays, short stories and books in English and gain access to mainstream UK media, while also having and raising my children.

Furthermore, it gave me the strength and inspiration to create a company, to mitigate the negative impact of the 2008 economic downturn on my family (my husband, a tile and stone trader, lost almost all his American, Arab and European customers). Furthermore, it enabled me to overcome the sudden loss of my mentor and godfather of my daughter, Dr. Tajudeen Abdul-Raheem. He was killed in a traffic accident in 2009, at the young age of 48. His death affected me so much that for a while, I took refuge in eating and became obese. But within a year, I had pulled myself together, and lost dozens of kilos, going from size 20 to my current size 8.

My 6-step programme towards the achievement of my goals has never let me down. Indeed, it has proved extremely successful so often that I call it my roadmap to success.

I will tell you more about it in my next post.

 

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